One thing about superheroes that
excites me is their awesome ability to stand up and fight no matter how many
times they get beat up by the bad guys. I mean, they may be spilling gallons of
blood, their guts may be springing out of their interiors, but I don’t know how
they manage to stand up like it’s all plastic-replaceable any second. Maybe
their neighborhood hospital’s got great after sales service…maybe they don’t
even need a hospital….they just go and stitch it all up themselves and voila!
We are up again! It’s the ‘give ‘em hell’ attitude that matters, nothing
else….Well, I got some attitude too, but it’s the ‘bloodied, hanging out guts’
part that scares me. The last time I watched SAW2, while having dinner (of
course!), I had to spend the whole time face down over the washroom sink…you
can well imagine why! But, if you are gonna be a superhero, you gotta deal with
it..innit? That’s an occupational hazard! Your guts or other’s…just treat it
like spaghetti…with an awful lot of ketchup on it!
Speaking of spaghetti….I remember
where we were the last time we left off…..the bible of all
superherodom..remember?
So here it goes..
And under all the empty packs of
Cheetos, coffee mugs(my mum still thinks I’m perfectly able to focus on studies
for 5 minutes without parental supervision :p) and Batman collectibles, I found
my first break to success! Marvel Comics-Spiderman Issue#1! As you would have
suspected by now, I started leafing through it..page by page…making my plan all
at the same time.
So here’s my list of must-have items
before you go crime-fighting and saving the poor man’s ass:
- · A pair of specs: probably from the 18th century: (doesn’t matter if you’ve got a cataract or perfectly good eyes..specs are a must!)..they make you inconspicuous..people wouldn’t notice you even if your ass was on fire….geeks attract the least attention!
- · A below normal public presence…works best if people think you are the biggest loser in town
- · An absolutely hot babe in the neighborhood- who wouldn’t go out with you even if you were the last man alive
- · A crazy scientist: Probably a deranged alcoholic, with a broken marriage, failed to clear his class 10th exams, but knows all about nuclear technology and how to clone monkeys from humans. Works best if his son is your best friend and lives a few blocks away.
- · A spandex suit…you’d probably get that off e-bay-not too hard to buy when your dad leaves his credit card lying at your table
- Special Abilities: we’ll get to that later….
- And above all…..a great detergent! What else would wash off that blood and grime from your suit! You’d probably want that custom-made from P n G. Just need to pull a few strings, that’s all!
- ·
Posts
0 comments:
Post a Comment